FOCUS: The Power of NO!
by Frank Francis

"Have you seen Pedro?" asks Summer.

" No, he’s not here," responds Napoleon Dynamite.

" Give him this," handing Napoleon the note intended for his fellow high school outcast.

" OK," says Napoleon.

Pedro had mustered enough courage to ask Summer, the head cheerleader, to the dance. When Napoleon opens the note, he finds a boldly printed "NO."

Sad? Yes. Painful? Yes. Questions? No. That’s the power of the word "NO". It’s direct and it leaves no room for wondering. Pedro never attempted to ask Summer again and it opened the door for other opportunities.

This illustration may use a movie as a backdrop--sorry, I just couldn’t resist the irony--but it underscores the point of our lesson. No is a clearly stated position. Consider what Jesus said, "Just say 'Yes' and 'No.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong." Matt. 5:37 (The Message).

"NO" is appreciated. While "NO" may render disappointment to the hearer, overextended commitments that can’t be fulfilled are worst.

If you’re not sure, then say, "NO." It’s much easier to come back later and say, "yes" than to commit and have to say "NO" or figure out an escape.

"NO" keeps you in-line with your primary commitments:

• Family
• Faith
• Work
• Recreation

Evaluate weather or not saying, "yes" would take time away from your primary commitments. After these, just how much time do you really have left? Be honest… do you really want to sacrifice time with your family or church or postpone a much-needed vacation?

Reasons we are afraid to say no:

Guilt: Most people feel guilty when they say, "NO.".Why… because we FEEL responsible. If you don’t hire the under qualified applicant, will he/she really have to file bankruptcy? And if they do, is it REALLY your fault? If you say "NO" to someone you don’t want to date, will they REALLY spend the rest of eternity in hopeless loneliness? If you say "NO" to your grown children sponging off you, will they REALLY live under a bridge? Saying "NO" could actually empower them! Many of these people need to hear “NO” so they will quit being weak!

Fear: So you’re afraid what people might think or how they might respond. Just think of the word "NO" as a fence between your house and your neighbor’s. I always say, “Great fences make great neighbors.” A fence is simply a boundary that says, "NO." Now, every time you need to say "NO" just picture a fence. Healthy people WILL respect your boundaries.

Conditioned Response: Are you one of those people who feel they have to eat everything on their plate because they were told to do so as a child? Did your parents ever consider what might happen to you at a buffet? So… what do you do? Deprogram! Experts tell us that in order to break the empty plate habit, we must begin by speaking out loud, “I WILL leave food on my plate!” Your voice affirms your choice in life and interesting enough… says, "No!" to the voices of your past.

These are just a few pointers that will help you say, "NO" to things that are drawing your attention away from your main goals. In order to stay FOCUSED, you have to stay on task. Saying "NO" to these outside demands are actually a way of saying, "YES" to your goals, purpose, and destiny. Remember, if you don’t define who you are… others will.

Stay Blessed!
Frank

© 2004 Frank Francis